Question
Im sorry i dont have an answer. that really would depend on how secure he is with in himself. Jelousey can really make things bad if it isnt addressed before hand. I wish you the best with your up coming surgery and school.http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=877
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I think Noodle is right. A lot depends on his self esteem and on the kind of relationship you have with each other. My husband has been great and very supportive. He knew that I needed the surgery to feel good about the way I look, and he is thrilled with how I look too. He's never expressed any insecurity with it at all. If he had I think I'd have taken a long hard look at it, and if it had come down to it, I'd have chosen him over surgery any day of the week. But it really shouldn't come down to that I don't think. If he's that bothered by you having this done I think there may be deeper issues that need to be addressed. Talk to him about it and find out why he's feeling so insecure. You certainly don't want to sacrifice a good relationship.
Good luck to you!
AngieHappiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
— Francesca Reigler


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my DH is a little insecure, but in the past 16 months i've lost 87 pounds so he's been like that for awhile now. he didn't think i needed BL/BA. not that i didn't need it, just that he was fine with the way i looked and that should've been enough. i felt awful with my nasty "socks with rocks" so i did it for ME. he says now that they're big and look fake. to tell the truth i think he really does like them but just doesn't want to say it. he's not so supportive in that respect. i understand your DH feeling a little insecure right now, but it sounds like he'll be fine. good luck!


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This sounds so familliar. I think I posted something similar on another message board.
I am 18 days away from my BA, and During the initial planning phases, I noticed the SAME type of response from hubby. I made comments like, "I can't WAIT to dress up in _____ for you" or I'd make comments about sexy things that we'd see in intimates sections of department stores. I'd keep talking about how excited I was to show off FOR him, or look sexy FOR him.
Keep reminding him that you're HIS wife. The thing that I said to hubby that really made it "click" for him, was " people will see them after the surgery as much as they see them now."
I think that on some level, he was afraid that I'd feel the need to show them off, or go do something out of character like enter a wet t-shirt contest.
If anything, the best thing you can do is try to reassure him that you won't change, and you can't wait to share them with HIM.
*hugs*http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=2109
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Well DH and I work at the same place him out in the shop with a bunch of men and me in the office with a bunch of women so I put him at ease with telling him I am going to wear baggy shirts nothing revealing while we are at work but when I am alone with him or we are out of town LOOK OUT!!! Of course we are older I am 48 but still we know these men have egos and he is being sooooo supportive knowing I have wanted this for myself for so long I feel the least I can do is make it easy on him at work so our coworkers aren't gawking or he doesn't have to put up with any comments guess in a nutshell what I am trying to say is I think reassurance goes a long way in a loving trusting relationship I am lucky to have finally found someone who is worth keeping


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Right after I had my BA our neighbor came by and of course he made a comment on my new boobs. We are friends with him and his wife and always do stuff together but this neighbor has a habit of commenting on the attributes of the women around here. I was wearing a big t-shirt and he still made a comment about my new bumps (his words) plus he had been telling my hubby that once a woman gets implants she leaves her husband. So the comments really bothered my hubby and I made a point of telling our neighbor to knock it off.
My hubby knows that I did this for me and not for him but also that I have no intention of leaving him. I am still self conscience about wearing revealing shirts and my hubby is the one that tells me that I need to get over it. It has been hard for me to lose 30 years of hiding myself but slowly I am trying to buy more revealing tops that I can wear when we go out. I think my hubby likes knowing that other guys can look but only he can touch. Of course it helps that now and again I flash him or pull up my shirt and show him a new bra. I also took hubby to my appointments so that he felt that he was part of what I was doing.
I really think that as long as you make your dh understand that while other guys may look he is the only man that will ever get to play with them, he will be ok. I think it also helps if you take your dh to a Victoria Secret or Fredericks and have him help you pick out sexy clothes. Ask him what he would like to see you in, get a VS catalog and tell him to pick out a sexy bra set or teddy that he would like you to order after your BA. It includes them in the process and builds their confidence that you will be doing this with them.http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=1636
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Bra album
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I can soooo relate. My hubby is insecure and tends to get jealous, even though he will NEVER admit it. His biggest issue pre BA was the extra attention I would recieve from men. Add to this the comments from his friends and coworkers that "watch out, she'll leave ya in 6 months!", really didn't help. We have had our "issues to deal with" in our marriage, as I am sure every couple does. Bottom line, is that I really think all men will have concern whether they voice them or not. I agree with all the ladies, that you need to give them constant reassurance, that yes this surgery is for yourself, but feeling sexier is definately a benefit to THEM!!! Those gorgeous new breasts will belong to BOTH of you. My hubby, is doing a lot better about it now. Occasionally, if we fight or argue, he' ll make some sarcastic little comment under his breath, but I know that he loves my boobs, and is happy I have them. Besides, he can't keep his http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=2292.
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Where do guys get off thinking they are so all fired important that we would put ourselves theough this just for any of them anyway? That notion really needs to be dispelled, everyone I know has had any procedure honestly just for themself and often in spite of a partner's objections because it's how we feel when we look in the mirror that matters. This business of jealousy is something which you have to be careful not to fall into the trap of taking responsibility for because it is his reaction that is the problem, not what you are doing - it's your right to present yourself to the world however you want and if he can't take the heat then maybe he's the wrong partner or at least needs help to deal with his insecurities so you are not having to deal with the fallout. Just a little thought will also lead to the conclusion that this jealousy it is totally misplaced anyway. The attention you are recieving from people is completely different from you paying attention to the man in the first place. A secure partner wants for us to be happy for obvious reasons and trusts our judgement as to what will do that. I once dated a guy with these issues, stuck it out for about 6 months because otherwise he did have some very good qualities, but in the end I'd had it. The final straw was when someone he knew upon hearing we were dating remarked to him that I was a great fiddler and beautiful too and congratulated him, said everyone would love to be going out with me - instead of being happy and proud that we were dating, (as is my dh's attitude) instead saw it a negative somehow and and blamed me for looking good! Sheesh. I'm in entertainment and this attention is something which is comes with the territory, I expect to be appreciated for my talent and it definitely does not hurt to be appreciated for my looks too - my husband is my biggest fan of both and sees it as a good thing when others do too. He also knows as long as I have what I need from him that I am not looking elswhere for things I get from him. Insecure types would definitely do even worse with me than a "normal" person.
As to the love/hate relationship with a lovely body this has a lot to do with the common notion that a "good" woman and "hot" woman cannot exist as the same person, which is totally untrue. Still, this is unfortunately how a some men see it because of a general un-enlightened attitude in much of society. All of a sudden having their good woman also become hot must be a real mind blower for these guys!Rose - Inamed410 "Gummy Bears" pics here
http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=293.
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I agree wholeheartedly Rose! My DH wanted me to do this so I would feel good about me...He saw how down I was when I looked in the mirror and it broke his heart. He told me he loved me before my surgery, just the way I was, but if surgery was what it would take for me to be content with who I was, then he supported me all the way...
Jealousy is an ugly monster, and one that shouldn't be fed!Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
— Francesca Reigler


Answer
Where do guys get off thinking they are so all fired important that we would put ourselves theough this just for any of them anyway? That notion really needs to be dispelled, everyone I know has had any procedure honestly just for themself and often in spite of a partner's objections because it's how we feel when we look in the mirror that matters. This business of jealousy is something which you have to be careful not to fall into the trap of taking responsibility for because it is his reaction that is the problem, not what you are doing - it's your right to present yourself to the world however you want and if he can't take the heat then maybe he's the wrong partner or at least needs help to deal with his insecurities so you are not having to deal with the fallout. Just a little thought will also lead to the conclusion that this jealousy it is totally misplaced anyway. The attention you are recieving from people is completely different from you paying attention to the man in the first place. A secure partner wants for us to be happy for obvious reasons and trusts our judgement as to what will do that. I once dated a guy with these issues, stuck it out for about 6 months because otherwise he did have some very good qualities, but in the end I'd had it. The final straw was when someone he knew upon hearing we were dating remarked to him that I was a great fiddler and beautiful too and congratulated him, said everyone would love to be going out with me - instead of being happy and proud that we were dating, (as is my dh's attitude) instead saw it a negative somehow and and blamed me for looking good! Sheesh. I'm in entertainment and this attention is something which is comes with the territory, I expect to be appreciated for my talent and it definitely does not hurt to be appreciated for my looks too - my husband is my biggest fan of both and sees it as a good thing when others do too. He also knows as long as I have what I need from him that I am not looking elswhere for things I get from him. Insecure types would definitely do even worse with me than a "normal" person.
As to the love/hate relationship with a lovely body this has a lot to do with the common notion that a "good" woman and "hot" woman cannot exist as the same person, which is totally untrue. Still, this is unfortunately how a some men see it because of a general un-enlightened attitude in much of society. All of a sudden having their good woman also become hot must be a real mind blower for these guys!
Rose, You are so very wise. Whenever you post about anything, I am interested. Thank you for always sharing your wisdom, and telling us like it is. I really and sincerely admire you. We all have much to learn from you. What a class act you are!! LAURA
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I had a talk with my husband and I was very open about how I felt, I even had him read some of your comments. That night he realized that his jealous comments were not showing the support I need to have this surgery. He felt bad that he had made me doubt if I should have the surgery done at all. Well I am thrilled to say that my husband snaped out of it and he is now back to his confident self. He has been nothing but supportive, and even told me to set a closer date so I have my new boobies fluffed and ready to show by his Birthday
Thank you for sharing all you thoughts and wisdom with me. Tomorrow I plan on putting money down for the deposit and I just cant wait!


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That is GREAT news! Sometimes they just need a good kick in the pants!
Congratulations! You're going to do just great!Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
— Francesca Reigler


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My husband is not the jealous type at all. We have a wonderful relationship even after 11 years of marriage. He encouraged me to find tops that fit me well and loves it when I show them off a little. He just smiles and I know he is thinking yep she is coming home with me... Good luck.http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=665
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I had full support from my boyfriend. He even paid for the entire surgery as my christmas http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=2136