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I'm so glad I have this place to come to and vent, cry and whatever else. so lets see a few nights ago the cops call DH and I at 12:45 am
wanting to know if we know so and so , obviously I know the cop that's calling and I said why what's wrong ? Well it seems that my daughter's car was just seen leaving a girls house and her tires have been slashed !! Okay, my dd does NOT do this kind of stuff or does she ? Okay, no she didn't slash the tires BUT the kid that was with her did ! She says she just went to the girls house for this kid ( I guess he used to date her ) and he got out of the car and went around the side of the house and she could not see what he was doing. She should have known better ! DH is so ticked off at her right now he is ready to throw her out of the house. It really embarrased him, that and she's not studying and as far as we can tell she is not passing her classes in college. She up and quit her job about a week ago ( just out of the blue ) says she hates college. I'm just pretty much at a loss. There is nothing I can do. I see her about 5 min a day when she gets home from college and then she runs over to this other house ( where this kid lives that slashed the tires. Get this , the mom ? she has grown teenage children but stills sits on her a@@ collecting welfare and doing odd jobs under the table. Oh yeah , here's a good role model ! Our DD is going to be 19 , we can't very well tell her who she can and cannot hang out with but I really thought we raised her to be smarter than this. She had a real bad attitude with the cop that was here that night too ! He was about ready to take her to jail if she didn't start talking. I'm just in shock over the whole thing. She has always been such a good kid and now seems like the last few months ( since she started hanging at this other house ) things have just gone downhill. DH told her if her grades for this first semester are crap we are not forkimg out another several thousand $$ for the next semester. I can't say I really blame him. We have tried to talk to her but she just does not get it. Oh and speaking of DH we just found out on Monday after he had a colonoscopy that he has Chrones and part of his intestine is damaged and it looks like they are going to have to operate and remove part of his intestine. I mean they make it sound like it will all be okay and they just take out the damaged part and then "meld" the intestine back together but it's just not something that sounds like a heck of a lot of fun and I'm worried about him. The doc wanted him to cancel his hunting trip but that wasn't going to happen so he has to go back in next Monday ...........ARRRGGGHHHHH ! And my boobies still hurt When it rains it pours , thank you for letting me vent my wonderful sisters , I think I need a nice glass of Merlot , white !http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=1648
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Sorry about what you are going thru with your daughter. 19 is a hard age. they are trying to find themselves and make all kinds of mistakes. At least thats what I did at 19. And at that age you cant tell them anything they dont listen. Just hang in there it will get better.
The Chrones disease my mom has that and she also had to have part of her intestines taken out and a bowl reconstructed. It was a tough surgery but she did fine and recovered well.http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=877
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I'm so glad I have this place to come to and vent, cry and whatever else. so lets see a few nights ago the cops call DH and I at 12:45 am
wanting to know if we know so and so , obviously I know the cop that's calling and I said why what's wrong ? Well it seems that my daughter's car was just seen leaving a girls house and her tires have been slashed !! Okay, my dd does NOT do this kind of stuff or does she ? Okay, no she didn't slash the tires BUT the kid that was with her did ! She says she just went to the girls house for this kid ( I guess he used to date her ) and he got out of the car and went around the side of the house and she could not see what he was doing. She should have known better ! DH is so ticked off at her right now he is ready to throw her out of the house. It really embarrased him, that and she's not studying and as far as we can tell she is not passing her classes in college. She up and quit her job about a week ago ( just out of the blue ) says she hates college. I'm just pretty much at a loss. There is nothing I can do. I see her about 5 min a day when she gets home from college and then she runs over to this other house ( where this kid lives that slashed the tires. Get this , the mom ? she has grown teenage children but stills sits on her a@@ collecting welfare and doing odd jobs under the table. Oh yeah , here's a good role model ! Our DD is going to be 19 , we can't very well tell her who she can and cannot hang out with but I really thought we raised her to be smarter than this. She had a real bad attitude with the cop that was here that night too ! He was about ready to take her to jail if she didn't start talking. I'm just in shock over the whole thing. She has always been such a good kid and now seems like the last few months ( since she started hanging at this other house ) things have just gone downhill. DH told her if her grades for this first semester are crap we are not forkimg out another several thousand $$ for the next semester. I can't say I really blame him. We have tried to talk to her but she just does not get it. Oh and speaking of DH we just found out on Monday after he had a colonoscopy that he has Chrones and part of his intestine is damaged and it looks like they are going to have to operate and remove part of his intestine. I mean they make it sound like it will all be okay and they just take out the damaged part and then "meld" the intestine back together but it's just not something that sounds like a heck of a lot of fun and I'm worried about him. The doc wanted him to cancel his hunting trip but that wasn't going to happen so he has to go back in next Monday ...........ARRRGGGHHHHH ! And my boobies still hurt When it rains it pours , thank you for letting me vent my wonderful sisters , I think I need a nice glass of Merlot , white ! Sorry to be responding late to this and that you are having to go through so much right now. Perhaps it's 'OT' as you say, but anything that concerns you concerns us....we care about you and what you go through in other areas can't help but affect how you are doing in ba recovery. I can't remember how post op you are, but I have to think that time will help and that you can consult your ps if you think that your discomfort is ongoing without improvement. Re the daughter issues, mine is 29 and about to make me a grandma, but I well rmember her at the same age your daughter is and that age can be a nightmare. All you can do is let her know you love her and are there for her and establish a standard of behavior you expect from her. It sounds trite, but sometimes they have to learn the hard way, and that can be more painful for the parents than the kids. Hang in there...best thing you can do right now is take care of YOU and be there for your husband...I know his possible surgery is alot to go through but it sounds like he will be ok and that he is getting good care. Hugs, Maajida


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oh pumpkin! my heart goes out to you..
sux when you feel out of control huh?
I remember my poor mum wanting to put her little hands around my neck and squeezing when i was 19!.. boy i sure tried that woman!.. Thankfully she stuck through it and i didn't drive her over the brink.. lol (it was close though.. lol)
My 22 y/o tries me every day.. and he doesn't even live with me!..
The way i've learned to deal with it is accepting that i don't have control.. that he IS an adult and he WILL pay for his actions.. and yea it sux when you're sitting there telling them "the train is coming! the train is coming!" and they won't step off the tracks.. but that is really all you could do..
I'm sorry about hubs.. i hope his surgery goes well and that the docs are right and that they could just remove the part of the intestine that is damaged. Give 'em a hug for me! (don't get jealous now.. lol.. )
And here's a hug for you too.. (((mt_deb))) i won't squeeze too hard cause you said your boobies was hurting.. lol Hugs,
Merci
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Well Deb, I sure feel for you. Bless your heart. I echo everyone else's sentiments. 19 is a hard age. they're grown but they're not...You know? Our 19 year old (my husband's from his 1st marriage) just moved in with her boyfriend, won't speak to her father, has turned on me...It just goes on and on. It's heartbreaking and I know how you feel. This is when you have to remember that you raised your baby to the best of your ability. At some point all that knowledge that you pumped into her will come back to the surface and she'll be ok again. She's just got to go through the school of hard knocks like the rest of us did. The lessons you learn that way are the ones you don't forget. She's going to be fine.
Your husband will be fine too. It is yucky, but Crohn's treatment has come a long way over the years. Google it and you'll see.
We're here for you Deb.
Ang


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Ahhh luv,
Gosh we had no idea the battle you are in right now, bless your heart, but please know you are not alone...
For DD I have been through this twice with DD and DS, at times I would just want to wring their pretty little necks, they really can break our hearts I know... Now that my DD is a mother of two she has told me many times she was sorry for what she put her dad and I through, she now says if she can only be 1/2 the mother that I was to her, to her own children, then she will have done a wonderful job in raising them, now that really touched my heart... You too will hear these words on day from your DD... She's just is going through a time now in her life that she is not sure what she is wanting at this point , but deep down inside she knows what is best for her, but she is fighting it, and the new friends have a lot to do with the way they look at life too... If her friend has no goals in life then she will try everthing she can to pull your DD down to her standards... Hang in their luv, there is light at the end of the tunnel....
Oh my your DH I am so sorry to hear about this, how is he doing with the news?
I am praying for your family, stand strong luv, and tough love with the daughter, k?
Huge family healing hugs to you all,
Lezza Lezza
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Aww sorry to here your having dd issue. Im sure you will work it out. Noodle is right that age is hard and Im sure you and your daughter will be laughing about it later once she gets out of the teens and young 20's. Im still not much help though because mine are still little.http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=1296
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Good morning ladies and thank you so much. It is good to hear that many kids this age go through the same thing and act in the same way. We will keep trying to guide her but yes, she has to make her own choices as heartbreaking as they may be to us. The hardest is going to be if she does not get another job and can't pay her auto insurance she can't drive and I am not going to "taxi" her. It will be hard to say no. Who knows though, it hasn't come to that yet maybe she will get a job. DH I think is in a bit of denial but I know he will be okay. Thanks noodle, it's good to hear that your mom is doing well and her surgery was a success. As far as the boobies, I will be 3 months PO the 23rd so I'm sure the discomfort is still a normal thing to have at this point, It was something I was just whining about
Kids !
Thank you again my wonderful sisters, It really helped to get it all outhttp://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=1648
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O geese this is not good. Shes 19, stuck between 18-21 is the hardest of times....your adjusting to being an adult, finding who you are and making your marks! Its going to be hard and there will be fights....things will be said out of anger and will hurt but remember its said out of anger and its not meant. My mom always said I was trouble and had to be right...I said things to my mom that cut her so deep I didnt know how to apologize to her. I made her cry allot...but if you ask her to this day if she would do it different she would say NO. Me and my mom are best freinds...I can confide in her and I can talk to her about anything. She says that if we did do things differently she wouldnt have me as a freind and thats the most inportant thing to me and my mom. So you see there will be nasty times, hurtful times, and crying but in time she will be your best freind and a relationship will build that you and her cherish![url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
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Hi - Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, I totally feel for you. I have 5 kids, 2 grown, one 14 , the others 7 & 10. So far no major dramas with any of them but there have been some painful times, believe me. Like the shock I felt when I found birth control pills in my then 17 yo daughters room - I thought "what my little girl???" SHe turned out fine...
Everyone has given you a lot of really good wisdom. She is probably not enjoying all of this too much either deep down. I agree that these are tough years and I know for me at that age despite trying to act all self confident I was pretty http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=293.
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Just wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you, and really feel for you in your situation. If not for hard times, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones, so hopefully this will just be a short period in the story of your family. What with four kids myself, two of them daughters, I can relate, just know that it should get easier. Girls can be such pills can't they! Fun to dress up when they're little, but then they get us back Keep us posted on how your DH is doing as well, at least you can try to distract him with the twins - maybe ora-gel??????? Take care,


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Thank you so much ladies, you really touched me and made me feel better. I have a sneaking supiscion that my dd may be pregnant. She went off BC pills in July as they caused her to gain weight. Aug I believe she had some spotting and nothing since. She is sexually active although she says she uses protection. I know that does not mean she is but with her attitude lately I suspect she could be. Not trying to get ahead of myself just being realistic, it won't be the end of the world by any means. I was 17 when I had my first. She won't be alone and we do have a spare bedroom .........It will just be a bit harder for her is all. I need to change my siggy line for the time being I can't tell you all how much your words help me. This too shall pass. Sweetpea, oral-gel, you crack me up girl ! http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/viewAlbum.php?albumid=1648
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Hang in there deb, and don't put the cart before the horse. If she is you'll deal with it, just like you said.
We're all with you!
ang