Question
Hi, I want to ask the girl I have been dating for almost 2 years to marry me, but I have not bought a ring. I want to get a matched set, I thought about asking her and if she says yes, then let her go help me pick out a set, besides she will be wearing the ring, so I would like her to have one she likes... Do you all think this is a bad idea, or not? Would you accept if someone asked you like this? I need all the advice I can get on this one...


Answer

It depends on the girl...Some girls like the surprise of the ring box and all that, some don't need that to be happy. I doubt any would refuse you marriage because you wanted to pick out the ring with her. What about asking one of her friends...one who can keep a secret..to go ring shopping with you. Her friends should know her tasts in jewlery. Either way she'll probably love anything you get her.

Answer

I think you should pick one out yourself. There is a lot more meaning behind it when you have gone out, put some thought into it, tried your best to find the right one, and chosen what you think is best. It just shows that you care enough to go out and try and please her yourself, rather than saying, "Wanna marry me? YEA? Great! Choose your own ring."
However, it is a nice gesture to be concerned about what she will like. I personally think though, that it would mean a lot more to do it on your own, then to get her to do it. It's sort of like giving her money for valentine's day, and saying "here get what you like," but in this case, it is a lot more important.
I also think that she would consider money factors a great deal if she knew she was choosing. She would most likely go for something on the cheaper side because she doesn't want to spend all your money, rather than picking out what she really wants. That may seem silly to you, but it defeats the purpose of getting her to choose what she wants, if she is only choosing it because she knows you can afford it.
You don't have to ask her RIGHT away, so take some time to do a little investigating, and find out what she likes. Pretend you need a new watch or something and go into a jewlery store. Act like you are interested in the watches, but maybe nonchalauntly ask her if she likes "this" or that". Maybe she will do it on her own, and you can see what she has her eyes on. If that doesn't work, or you are concerned she'll catch on, then look in her jewelery box. What does she have a lot of... gold? silver? Ask her what she likes the best, and get her to tell you stuff about her jewelery. You might discover some new things about her. If that fails as well, you could do as the last poster suggested and ask one of her friends or perhaps a family member. If her friend or family does't know what she wants, then it is all left up to you. Just do what you think is best.
Remember, if you really mean enough to her, it wont matter if the ring sucks or is great, is fancy or shabby, because it is you and the love that you share that means the most.
Good luck, and CONGRATULATIONS!

Answer

I think you should get the ring, then ask. An engagement ring signifies a promise to marry. It is your ring, not hers. Now sure you want her to like is, but how many girls are going to say nope, sorry, the ring is yuck?
Some reputable jewelry stores will let you bring the ring back within a certain period of time. Ask different jewelry stores in your area what their policy is if the woman says no or doesn't like the ring. At the very least, most will allow you to exchange it. They also want you to purchase your wedding rings there so are usually willing to work with you.
Another thing about already having the ring is that getting engaged is one of the most exciting things to happen to you. Everyone she and you tell will ask to see the ring.
One other option would be to ask her to marry you in the jewelry store.
Good luck to you and congrats!!

Answer

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Some reputable jewelry stores will let you bring the ring back within a certain period of time. Ask different jewelry stores in your area what their policy is if the woman says no or doesn't like the ring. At the very least, most will allow you to exchange it. They also want you to purchase your wedding rings there so are usually willing to work with you.
Another thing about already having the ring is that getting engaged is one of the most exciting things to happen to you. Everyone she and you tell will ask to see the ring.
One other option would be to ask her to marry you in the jewelry store.
Some reputable jewelry stores will let you bring the ring back within a certain period of time. Ask different jewelry stores in your area what their policy is if the woman says no or doesn't like the ring. At the very least, most will allow you to exchange it. They also want you to purchase your wedding rings there so are usually willing to work with you.
Another thing about already having the ring is that getting engaged is one of the most exciting things to happen to you. Everyone she and you tell will ask to see the ring.
One other option would be to ask her to marry you in the jewelry store.
Good luck to you and congrats!!

Answer

hereubb/smile.gif

Good luck to you and congrats!!

Answer

Does she like surprises? Is she picky about her clothing and jewelry? Does she love romance? Really think about her - use what you know about her to make the decision. To some people it is more romantic to already have the ring in the box.
You can make a compromise & be creative too -- get a ring box and write a "love note" to her to put in the box, maybe even pictures of a few rings you have considered, or even buy a less expensive ring to include - it will have special meaning too.
Look at the types of jewlery she wears now. That will give you some indication of the style she likes.
Like the others have said,her answer is not going to depend on HOW you ask her. I always dreamed of being asked and presented a ring at the same time. But, when my boyfriend and I were out one day we just happened to stop by a jewler in an antiques mall. We like to go to flea markets and antique stores, etc. I was looking at all the jewelry and saw a ring that I thought was different and beautiful. He asked if we could see it and he slipped it on my finger and asked me. It was totally unexpected and was the most romantic thing in the world to me. We bought the ring--then kept shopping!!
Do you get along with her mother? Talk to her--she might have some ideas too.
Good Luck & I'm sure all will go well so congrats!
Good luck to you and congrats!!

Answer

Does she like surprises? Is she picky about her clothing and jewelry? Does she love romance? Really think about her - use what you know about her to make the decision. To some people it is more romantic to already have the ring in the box.
You can make a compromise & be creative too -- get a ring box and write a "love note" to her to put in the box, maybe even pictures of a few rings you have considered, or even buy a less expensive ring to include - it will have special meaning too.
Look at the types of jewlery she wears now. That will give you some indication of the style she likes.
Like the others have said,her answer is not going to depend on HOW you ask her. I always dreamed of being asked and presented a ring at the same time. But, when my boyfriend and I were out one day we just happened to stop by a jewler in an antiques mall. We like to go to flea markets and antique stores, etc. I was looking at all the jewelry and saw a ring that I thought was different and beautiful. He asked if we could see it and he slipped it on my finger and asked me. It was totally unexpected and was the most romantic thing in the world to me. We bought the ring--then kept shopping!!
Do you get along with her mother? Talk to her--she might have some ideas too.
Good Luck & I'm sure all will go well so congrats!
[This message has been edited by YadaYada (edited 07-25-2002).]