Question
Last week I tested positive for Herpes. I have slept with a few differnt men, but have been faithful to my boyfriend of 6 months. I noticed 1 sore on my labia and freaked. Although the doctor said it was probably nothing, she did a swap test and it came back positive. Does anyone have some Education on this? Was my man unfaithful??? I have never had a problem up to this point.

Answer

hereubb/frown.gif


Answer

I know that everything looks pretty bad right now, but it'll be okay. I found out about four months ago, and I've come really far with dealing with it. But I understand, these are the darkest days.
It does not mean that anyone cheated on you, herpes can be in your system for a long time without it showing up. I'm not sure of the incubation period, but there are plenty of people on this site that could probably give you specifics.
One of the mistakes that I did, is that I read every single thing that I could get my hands on that first month. Remember to consider the source and don't overload yourself with morbid information. make sure what you are reading is valid, and correct.
It's going to be okay, I know it doesn't feel like it. 1 in 4 people, have herpes, and most don't know it. Isn't that amazing? That's awhole lot of people, you aren't alone, as isolating as it can feel.
Please keep me updated, and ask any questions you feel you need too. If it's not too personal.
The website was removed because it links to message boards.
[This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 05-22-2002).]
Moderators, sorry about that, can I suggest this web site? (I'm 99% postive this one is permissable)

[This message has been edited by siobhan (edited 05-22-2002).]

Answer

I have knowingly had herpes for about 7 years. The worst thing you can do is feel as though you are lower than anyone els. I did this, and was miserable. I have to convince myself that one day a man is really going to love me so much, that it won't matter to him. You are so blessed to already have someone in your life. I hope he is supportive of you.Siobhan is right. THe darkest days are now. It is like you have been given a death sentence--At least it was like that for me. I felt that noone would ever want me again. I deal with it better now, though sometimes I still get sad.Everything Siobhan wrote, I agree with.. I will also be here if you need me. WHatever you do, if you feel sad and need to express yourself in that way--please do. There have been so many days I have wanted to lash out and couldn't, because I didn't have the nerve to tell anyone. I was silent about it for about 6 years. WHen I was finally able to tell someone, it was on the internet, to people I would never meet. WHen I finally told someone verbally, it was scary, but was also the start of my healing./ For once I was able to cry and express myself the way I needed to. God bless you!!!!!
LisaL

Answer

Unachica, this does not mean your boyfriend was unfaithful to you. It could have lain dormant in his body, he could have had a break out and not thought anything about it so was never tested. This could have lain dormant in your body until this time. Whichever the case, it doesn't mean your boyfriend cheated. I agree with the other two posts, on reading up on the subject, knowledge is power. I am 35 and contracted herpes from the first person I ever had sex with at the age of 21 ( go figure

Answer

I know that everything looks pretty bad right now, but it'll be okay. I found out about four months ago, and I've come really far with dealing with it. But I understand, these are the darkest days.
It does not mean that anyone cheated on you, herpes can be in your system for a long time without it showing up. I'm not sure of the incubation period, but there are plenty of people on this site that could probably give you specifics.
One of the mistakes that I did, is that I read every single thing that I could get my hands on that first month. Remember to consider the source and don't overload yourself with morbid information. make sure what you are reading is valid, and correct.
It's going to be okay, I know it doesn't feel like it. 1 in 4 people, have herpes, and most don't know it. Isn't that amazing? That's awhole lot of people, you aren't alone, as isolating as it can feel.
Please keep me updated, and ask any questions you feel you need too. If it's not too personal.
The website was removed because it links to message boards.
[This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 05-22-2002).]
Moderators, sorry about that, can I suggest this web site? (I'm 99% postive this one is permissable)

[This message has been edited by siobhan (edited 05-22-2002).]

Answer

I have knowingly had herpes for about 7 years. The worst thing you can do is feel as though you are lower than anyone els. I did this, and was miserable. I have to convince myself that one day a man is really going to love me so much, that it won't matter to him. You are so blessed to already have someone in your life. I hope he is supportive of you.Siobhan is right. THe darkest days are now. It is like you have been given a death sentence--At least it was like that for me. I felt that noone would ever want me again. I deal with it better now, though sometimes I still get sad.Everything Siobhan wrote, I agree with.. I will also be here if you need me. WHatever you do, if you feel sad and need to express yourself in that way--please do. There have been so many days I have wanted to lash out and couldn't, because I didn't have the nerve to tell anyone. I was silent about it for about 6 years. WHen I was finally able to tell someone, it was on the internet, to people I would never meet. WHen I finally told someone verbally, it was scary, but was also the start of my healing./ For once I was able to cry and express myself the way I needed to. God bless you!!!!!
LisaL

Answer

Unachica, this does not mean your boyfriend was unfaithful to you. It could have lain dormant in his body, he could have had a break out and not thought anything about it so was never tested. This could have lain dormant in your body until this time. Whichever the case, it doesn't mean your boyfriend cheated. I agree with the other two posts, on reading up on the subject, knowledge is power. I am 35 and contracted herpes from the first person I ever had sex with at the age of 21 ( go figure ). I too thought I would never find anybody to accept me and love me. I have been married 13 1/2 years, so I know it is possible to find that person. The only advice I can give you is that when you think you have found that special person, be honest and upfront about everything, if they love you it will not matter. If you need to express yourself or ask questions (you too LisaL and Siobhan) I will be here for you. I thought I was all alone, maybe you feel the same way, but you aren't.
btw, you did not say what your boyfriends reaction to all this was.
(I have become the edit queen today )
[This message has been edited by christie s (edited 05-22-2002).]
[This message has been edited by christie s (edited 05-22-2002).]

Answer

hereubb/rolleyes.gif
). I too thought I would never find anybody to accept me and love me. I have been married 13 1/2 years, so I know it is possible to find that person. The only advice I can give you is that when you think you have found that special person, be honest and upfront about everything, if they love you it will not matter. If you need to express yourself or ask questions (you too LisaL and Siobhan) I will be here for you. I thought I was all alone, maybe you feel the same way, but you aren't.
btw, you did not say what your boyfriends reaction to all this was.
(I have become the edit queen today ). I too thought I would never find anybody to accept me and love me. I have been married 13 1/2 years, so I know it is possible to find that person. The only advice I can give you is that when you think you have found that special person, be honest and upfront about everything, if they love you it will not matter. If you need to express yourself or ask questions (you too LisaL and Siobhan) I will be here for you. I thought I was all alone, maybe you feel the same way, but you aren't.
btw, you did not say what your boyfriends reaction to all this was.
(I have become the edit queen today )
[This message has been edited by christie s (edited 05-22-2002).]
[This message has been edited by christie s (edited 05-22-2002).]

Answer

hereubb/wave.gif
)
[This message has been edited by christie s (edited 05-22-2002).]
[This message has been edited by christie s (edited 05-22-2002).]

Answer

Hello,
There's a Sexually Transmitted Disease forum on these health boards where you could probably find loads of info and support.
Take care and keep your chin up.
(((HUGS)))
Nic