Question
Hi
I'm supposed to be going in to see my surgeon in a few days and I have several questions I want desparately to ask him but I am just terrified because he got impatient with me once and chewed me out good for calling him (he later apologized and has treated me nice since).
Anyway, I have spent considerable time anguishing over this and have gone over my list of questions many times...shortening them, making them sound "more respectful", dumbing them down so his ego will be stroked sufficiently, prioritzing them, reducing the number of questions, making them easier to answer...and then starting all over again!.
I know deep down inside that I have every right in the world to ask these very reasonable questions but I also know that if it gets to be too much of a "hassle" for him, he has every right to refer me to someone else (the next surgeon is MILES away from me!). I also know that he can be very impatient and I've caught him rolling his eyes and giving me a disgusted look out of the corner of my eye once when he thought I was'nt looking. If I start to ask more than just 1 or 2 questions, he always stands up as if he's ready to leave and this makes me feel like he could care less about me and is trying to get rid of me. I know when I see him again in a few days and start asking questions he's going to just snap and say "that's it, find someone else!". It's like I don't have the right to ask him how he will be slicing me open and cutting on my guts. I'm just a slab of meat with a dollar sign attached.
All the medical websites tell you to ask a LOT of questions but if I asked him even a fraction of these questions, I KNOW he would feel challenged and insulted and that would be it. Even my roommate is advising against it so what am I supposed to do??. I'm already on thin ice and I know that no matter what I say, I'm doomed already and this is the ONLY surgeon I have under my insurance (and everyone say's he is excellent) so I don't want to blow my chances.
HELP PLEASE!!!
(edited for typos)
[This message has been edited by GreenEggs (edited 08-16-2003).]

Answer

Regardless, Id find a NEW doctor pronto.. When you call to cancel your appt with your now doctor, explain to his office manager of the reasons why. Id also put this in writing and send it to his office, ADDRESS IT PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL, so that way ONLY he can open and read. If you feel that doesnt work, find his address and send it to his house. Id also put a complaint in to the Medical Board, and also your Agency for Healthcare *****istration. If he disrespects you to those lengths, imagine how many others go thru it as well, and may be too afraid to mention it to anyone. A doctor as such doesnt deserve a practice.
Edited due to partial deleting of the word a d m i n i s t r a t i o n
[This message has been edited by ~~NatureLovers~~ (edited 08-16-2003).]
[This message has been edited by ~~NatureLovers~~ (edited 08-16-2003).]

Answer

Originally posted by ~~NatureLovers~~:
Regardless, Id find a NEW doctor pronto.. When you call to cancel your appt with your now doctor, explain to his office manager of the reasons why. Id also put this in writing and send it to his office, ADDRESS IT PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL, so that way ONLY he can open and read. If you feel that doesnt work, find his address and send it to his house. Id also put a complaint in to the Medical Board, and also your Agency for Healthcare *****istration. If he disrespects you to those lengths, imagine how many others go thru it as well, and may be too afraid to mention it to anyone. A doctor as such doesnt deserve a practice.
Edited due to partial deleting of the word a d m i n i s t r a t i o n
[This message has been edited by ~~NatureLovers~~ (edited 08-16-2003).]
[This message has been edited by ~~NatureLovers~~ (edited 08-16-2003).]
Thank's for the advice . Yeah, I totally agree with you. I saw another surgeon awhile back (different kind of surgeon though) and he was just as cocky and arrogant. What is it with these surgeons anyway?. Gee, you walk in there in pain and horrified and then you get victimized/traumatized all over again and by the very person who is supposed to be operating on you!.
My main problem is that because of my insurance, he is the only surgeon I am permitted to see (no acceptions unless I drove a distance - and I DO mean a distance) and he is also the one who would be dealing with me if there was ever an emergency so I'm pretty much backed into a corner right now and it's either kiss (can I say fanny?) and tow the line -or- basically do without. A shame for sure and I have been reading other stories similar to mine but I guess that's just the way it is <::sigh::>.
Thank's again!
[This message has been edited by GreenEggs (edited 08-16-2003).]

Answer

Originally posted by ~~NatureLovers~~:
Regardless, Id find a NEW doctor pronto.. When you call to cancel your appt with your now doctor, explain to his office manager of the reasons why. Id also put this in writing and send it to his office, ADDRESS IT PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL, so that way ONLY he can open and read. If you feel that doesnt work, find his address and send it to his house. Id also put a complaint in to the Medical Board, and also your Agency for Healthcare *****istration. If he disrespects you to those lengths, imagine how many others go thru it as well, and may be too afraid to mention it to anyone. A doctor as such doesnt deserve a practice.
Edited due to partial deleting of the word a d m i n i s t r a t i o n
[This message has been edited by ~~NatureLovers~~ (edited 08-16-2003).]
[This message has been edited by ~~NatureLovers~~ (edited 08-16-2003).]
Thank's for the advice . Yeah, I totally agree with you. I saw another surgeon awhile back (different kind of surgeon though) and he was just as cocky and arrogant. What is it with these surgeons anyway?. Gee, you walk in there in pain and horrified and then you get victimized/traumatized all over again and by the very person who is supposed to be operating on you!.
My main problem is that because of my insurance, he is the only surgeon I am permitted to see (no acceptions unless I drove a distance - and I DO mean a distance) and he is also the one who would be dealing with me if there was ever an emergency so I'm pretty much backed into a corner right now and it's either kiss (can I say fanny?) and tow the line -or- basically do without. A shame for sure and I have been reading other stories similar to mine but I guess that's just the way it is <::sigh::>.
Thank's again!
[This message has been edited by GreenEggs (edited 08-16-2003).]

Answer

Originally posted by ~~NatureLovers~~:
Regardless, Id find a NEW doctor pronto.. When you call to cancel your appt with your now doctor, explain to his office manager of the reasons why. Id also put this in writing and send it to his office, ADDRESS IT PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL, so that way ONLY he can open and read. If you feel that doesnt work, find his address and send it to his house. Id also put a complaint in to the Medical Board, and also your Agency for Healthcare *****istration. If he disrespects you to those lengths, imagine how many others go thru it as well, and may be too afraid to mention it to anyone. A doctor as such doesnt deserve a practice.
Edited due to partial deleting of the word a d m i n i s t r a t i o n
[This message has been edited by ~~NatureLovers~~ (edited 08-16-2003).]
[This message has been edited by ~~NatureLovers~~ (edited 08-16-2003).]
Thank's for the advice . Yeah, I totally agree with you. I saw another surgeon awhile back (different kind of surgeon though) and he was just as cocky and arrogant. What is it with these surgeons anyway?. Gee, you walk in there in pain and horrified and then you get victimized/traumatized all over again and by the very person who is supposed to be operating on you!.
My main problem is that because of my insurance, he is the only surgeon I am permitted to see (no acceptions unless I drove a distance - and I DO mean a distance) and he is also the one who would be dealing with me if there was ever an emergency so I'm pretty much backed into a corner right now and it's either kiss (can I say fanny?) and tow the line -or- basically do without. A shame for sure and I have been reading other stories similar to mine but I guess that's just the way it is <::sigh::>.
Thank's again!
[This message has been edited by GreenEggs (edited 08-16-2003).]

Answer

hereubb/smile.gif
. Yeah, I totally agree with you. I saw another surgeon awhile back (different kind of surgeon though) and he was just as cocky and arrogant. What is it with these surgeons anyway?. Gee, you walk in there in pain and horrified and then you get victimized/traumatized all over again and by the very person who is supposed to be operating on you!.
My main problem is that because of my insurance, he is the only surgeon I am permitted to see (no acceptions unless I drove a distance - and I DO mean a distance) and he is also the one who would be dealing with me if there was ever an emergency so I'm pretty much backed into a corner right now and it's either kiss (can I say fanny?) and tow the line -or- basically do without. A shame for sure and I have been reading other stories similar to mine but I guess that's just the way it is <::sigh::>.
Thank's again!
[This message has been edited by GreenEggs (edited 08-16-2003).]

Answer

Plain and simple....find a another doctor.

Answer

Incidentally, the other surgeon was like this too. Just about the time I got my small "list of questions" out, he was like "hahaha, keep your list of questions and just try to go home and relax...blah...blah". Again I ask, what is it with these guys and their apparent loathing of questions?. Don't they realize your going to be scared and concerned or don't they even care?.
Oh...I finally finished my list of 8 short questions to ask this new surgeon, printed it out and then showed it to my room mate. He read it and when I asked him what he thought he said "Well, frankly, I think the surgeon will be annoyed with it". I tend to agree with him because most surgeons want maximum profits without having to do anymore work than necessary and sitting there answering a few questions is such an "effort".
Doctors - ahhhhhhh!!!
[This message has been edited by GreenEggs (edited 08-16-2003).]