Question
I don't even know where to begin with this and I don't want to be posting every little trivial "feeling" or "sensation" that comes over me but I really need to get this off of my chest. Please don't be mad at me because I can't help it. I really need help with this!.
I have this "thing" that has gotten worse over the years and interferes with my life to such an extent that I have become a total basket case. I've done a lot of reading and one time I'm convinced it's OCD and then I read something else and swear I suffer from an anxiety disorder, depression or something else.
Anyway, it tends to start out as something small (like a wart on my arm) and when it's all over with, I've spent months fretting and worrying about it, going to ten different doctors, having gobs of tests, reading "nightmare" stories about warts on the internet, driving other people crazy asking them questions about warts and it just never ends because no matter what anyone tells me, I just CAN NOT get it out of my mind and am sure that I will end up losing my entire arm because of this wart.
This is just one small example and of course, there is the sadness, depression, anxiety and feeling of dread and doom "knowing" that I will be losing my arm and suddenly I have become totally disinterested in everything around me. I can no longer focus on my work so I never get anything done. I just sit and worry all day. I am totally disfunctional at this point.
If out of ten different doctors who told me the wart was'nt malignant, one says he's not sure, I will feel like I am already dead. Or if there's any hesitation in the doctor's voice, I will pick up on it right away and then go home and start "analyzing" everything that was discussed and obscess over WHY he hesitated. If I get ten different doctors telling me several different things, then I have this huge dillemma over "who" to believe and this only makes me want to see more doctors to "get to the bottom" of the truth.
In the end, I totally lose faith in the medical profession and sit there feeling completely lost and helpless with noone to turn to. I pop a xanax sometimes but this only helps for a few hours and then the worrying starts up again until I feel like I am going to go completely mad and lose it. Most of the time, no matter what I take, it does'nt help at all.
I've tried several of the SSRI's but they all seem to have horrific side effects and since I believe I might suffer from OCD (or some form of it), I understand that I might need a much stronger SSRI (or much stronger amount of it) to help me which means even worse side effects. It's like being on a roller-coaster and the ride never stops.
I'm truly tired of living in this catch-22 situation where I must choose between my condition and the side effects from medications used to treat my condition. I can see why some people turn to drinking...and worse.
So please tell me. What does this sound like?. Can anyone relate?. I'm so sick of feeling this way but feel powerless to do anything about it and when I read some of the posts here, it seems that the best anyone is able to do is just "deal with it". Is this what I will have to do?...just get used to living my entire life this way?.
Sigh...
Answer
how long has this been going on for you? you sound like an all out hypochondriac just like me. i post in the panic disorder and strees&anxiety forums. im gonna be honest, i think it is best in the long run to just deal with it. i dont like taking meds at all myself. so i just deal with my anxiety and believe me, mine is very bad also. i worry worry worry, i cannot do anything strenuous or i feel like my heart is beating out of control. i cannot focus in school or at work as well and this anxiety is affecting my relationship. i try and talk to myself a lot about it. i think of it this way; once i get over these fears it will only make me stronger than the person i was before this even started. it happened to me because God or whomever you can relate to wanted me to understand and realize this piece of life so i can learn and strengthen myself if i can get through it. and i just dont like the fact of taking mind controlling meds... that just doesnt work for me and the side effects are bad on me. you need to find someone you can always talk to about this problem whether it be a physchiatrist or relative, it helps a lot. i, myself, am starting to understand my mind more better and im starting to have better control of it and i never thought i would ever have control of it. surely you can do that but it does take time.
Answer
Originally posted by slyJohn:
how long has this been going on for you? you sound like an all out hypochondriac just like me. i post in the panic disorder and strees&anxiety forums. im gonna be honest, i think it is best in the long run to just deal with it. i dont like taking meds at all myself. so i just deal with my anxiety and believe me, mine is very bad also. i worry worry worry, i cannot do anything strenuous or i feel like my heart is beating out of control. i cannot focus in school or at work as well and this anxiety is affecting my relationship. i try and talk to myself a lot about it. i think of it this way; once i get over these fears it will only make me stronger than the person i was before this even started. it happened to me because God or whomever you can relate to wanted me to understand and realize this piece of life so i can learn and strengthen myself if i can get through it. and i just dont like the fact of taking mind controlling meds... that just doesnt work for me and the side effects are bad on me. you need to find someone you can always talk to about this problem whether it be a physchiatrist or relative, it helps a lot. i, myself, am starting to understand my mind more better and im starting to have better control of it and i never thought i would ever have control of it. surely you can do that but it does take time.
Whoaaa...I did a search and read some of your posts and the first though I had was "are we twins?". I swear you sound EXACTLY like me to a tee!. Constantly freaking out over your unusual symptoms that seem to come and go all the time and without warning. In fact, you sound so much like me that if I did'nt know any better, I'd think I was reading my OWN posts. You were talking about God and yes, I very much believe in God and was raised in a Christian family. I do think that God uses some of things to get our attention but it sure isn't always fun!...lol. Well, it was nice to meet you and I appreciate your reply. I'm pretty calm now after taking a xanax but how long that will last is anyone's guess so I have to just enjoy the peacefulness while it lasts. Incidentally, I also feel like my mind never rests...as if it was constantly searching for something to be "scared" of...some new disease it can obscess over, etc. You ever feel like that?. Like your mind is too busy sometimes?.
Answer
Originally posted by slyJohn:
how long has this been going on for you? you sound like an all out hypochondriac just like me. i post in the panic disorder and strees&anxiety forums. im gonna be honest, i think it is best in the long run to just deal with it. i dont like taking meds at all myself. so i just deal with my anxiety and believe me, mine is very bad also. i worry worry worry, i cannot do anything strenuous or i feel like my heart is beating out of control. i cannot focus in school or at work as well and this anxiety is affecting my relationship. i try and talk to myself a lot about it. i think of it this way; once i get over these fears it will only make me stronger than the person i was before this even started. it happened to me because God or whomever you can relate to wanted me to understand and realize this piece of life so i can learn and strengthen myself if i can get through it. and i just dont like the fact of taking mind controlling meds... that just doesnt work for me and the side effects are bad on me. you need to find someone you can always talk to about this problem whether it be a physchiatrist or relative, it helps a lot. i, myself, am starting to understand my mind more better and im starting to have better control of it and i never thought i would ever have control of it. surely you can do that but it does take time.
Whoaaa...I did a search and read some of your posts and the first though I had was "are we twins?". I swear you sound EXACTLY like me to a tee!. Constantly freaking out over your unusual symptoms that seem to come and go all the time and without warning. In fact, you sound so much like me that if I did'nt know any better, I'd think I was reading my OWN posts. You were talking about God and yes, I very much believe in God and was raised in a Christian family. I do think that God uses some of things to get our attention but it sure isn't always fun!...lol. Well, it was nice to meet you and I appreciate your reply. I'm pretty calm now after taking a xanax but how long that will last is anyone's guess so I have to just enjoy the peacefulness while it lasts. Incidentally, I also feel like my mind never rests...as if it was constantly searching for something to be "scared" of...some new disease it can obscess over, etc. You ever feel like that?. Like your mind is too busy sometimes?.
Answer
Originally posted by slyJohn:
how long has this been going on for you? you sound like an all out hypochondriac just like me. i post in the panic disorder and strees&anxiety forums. im gonna be honest, i think it is best in the long run to just deal with it. i dont like taking meds at all myself. so i just deal with my anxiety and believe me, mine is very bad also. i worry worry worry, i cannot do anything strenuous or i feel like my heart is beating out of control. i cannot focus in school or at work as well and this anxiety is affecting my relationship. i try and talk to myself a lot about it. i think of it this way; once i get over these fears it will only make me stronger than the person i was before this even started. it happened to me because God or whomever you can relate to wanted me to understand and realize this piece of life so i can learn and strengthen myself if i can get through it. and i just dont like the fact of taking mind controlling meds... that just doesnt work for me and the side effects are bad on me. you need to find someone you can always talk to about this problem whether it be a physchiatrist or relative, it helps a lot. i, myself, am starting to understand my mind more better and im starting to have better control of it and i never thought i would ever have control of it. surely you can do that but it does take time.
Whoaaa...I did a search and read some of your posts and the first though I had was "are we twins?". I swear you sound EXACTLY like me to a tee!. Constantly freaking out over your unusual symptoms that seem to come and go all the time and without warning. In fact, you sound so much like me that if I did'nt know any better, I'd think I was reading my OWN posts. You were talking about God and yes, I very much believe in God and was raised in a Christian family. I do think that God uses some of things to get our attention but it sure isn't always fun!...lol. Well, it was nice to meet you and I appreciate your reply. I'm pretty calm now after taking a xanax but how long that will last is anyone's guess so I have to just enjoy the peacefulness while it lasts. Incidentally, I also feel like my mind never rests...as if it was constantly searching for something to be "scared" of...some new disease it can obscess over, etc. You ever feel like that?. Like your mind is too busy sometimes?.
Answer
you need to first quit looking things up online!!! if you are anything like me you will think you have symptoms of every disease out there!! i would print out what you wrote here and take it to a dr but i do know what you mean about analyzing what you think the dr's meant??? that seems to be what i do then they give me a script for anxiety then i am embarressed to go back for a follow up
yoga
Answer
Originally posted by slyJohn:
how long has this been going on for you? you sound like an all out hypochondriac just like me. i post in the panic disorder and strees&anxiety forums. im gonna be honest, i think it is best in the long run to just deal with it. i dont like taking meds at all myself. so i just deal with my anxiety and believe me, mine is very bad also. i worry worry worry, i cannot do anything strenuous or i feel like my heart is beating out of control. i cannot focus in school or at work as well and this anxiety is affecting my relationship. i try and talk to myself a lot about it. i think of it this way; once i get over these fears it will only make me stronger than the person i was before this even started. it happened to me because God or whomever you can relate to wanted me to understand and realize this piece of life so i can learn and strengthen myself if i can get through it. and i just dont like the fact of taking mind controlling meds... that just doesnt work for me and the side effects are bad on me. you need to find someone you can always talk to about this problem whether it be a physchiatrist or relative, it helps a lot. i, myself, am starting to understand my mind more better and im starting to have better control of it and i never thought i would ever have control of it. surely you can do that but it does take time.
Whoaaa...I did a search and read some of your posts and the first though I had was "are we twins?". I swear you sound EXACTLY like me to a tee!. Constantly freaking out over your unusual symptoms that seem to come and go all the time and without warning. In fact, you sound so much like me that if I did'nt know any better, I'd think I was reading my OWN posts. You were talking about God and yes, I very much believe in God and was raised in a Christian family. I do think that God uses some of things to get our attention but it sure isn't always fun!...lol. Well, it was nice to meet you and I appreciate your reply. I'm pretty calm now after taking a xanax but how long that will last is anyone's guess so I have to just enjoy the peacefulness while it lasts. Incidentally, I also feel like my mind never rests...as if it was constantly searching for something to be "scared" of...some new disease it can obscess over, etc. You ever feel like that?. Like your mind is too busy sometimes?.
Answer
Originally posted by slyJohn:
how long has this been going on for you? you sound like an all out hypochondriac just like me. i post in the panic disorder and strees&anxiety forums. im gonna be honest, i think it is best in the long run to just deal with it. i dont like taking meds at all myself. so i just deal with my anxiety and believe me, mine is very bad also. i worry worry worry, i cannot do anything strenuous or i feel like my heart is beating out of control. i cannot focus in school or at work as well and this anxiety is affecting my relationship. i try and talk to myself a lot about it. i think of it this way; once i get over these fears it will only make me stronger than the person i was before this even started. it happened to me because God or whomever you can relate to wanted me to understand and realize this piece of life so i can learn and strengthen myself if i can get through it. and i just dont like the fact of taking mind controlling meds... that just doesnt work for me and the side effects are bad on me. you need to find someone you can always talk to about this problem whether it be a physchiatrist or relative, it helps a lot. i, myself, am starting to understand my mind more better and im starting to have better control of it and i never thought i would ever have control of it. surely you can do that but it does take time.
Whoaaa...I did a search and read some of your posts and the first though I had was "are we twins?". I swear you sound EXACTLY like me to a tee!. Constantly freaking out over your unusual symptoms that seem to come and go all the time and without warning. In fact, you sound so much like me that if I did'nt know any better, I'd think I was reading my OWN posts. You were talking about God and yes, I very much believe in God and was raised in a Christian family. I do think that God uses some of things to get our attention but it sure isn't always fun!...lol. Well, it was nice to meet you and I appreciate your reply. I'm pretty calm now after taking a xanax but how long that will last is anyone's guess so I have to just enjoy the peacefulness while it lasts. Incidentally, I also feel like my mind never rests...as if it was constantly searching for something to be "scared" of...some new disease it can obscess over, etc. You ever feel like that?. Like your mind is too busy sometimes?.
Answer
you need to first quit looking things up online!!! if you are anything like me you will think you have symptoms of every disease out there!! i would print out what you wrote here and take it to a dr but i do know what you mean about analyzing what you think the dr's meant??? that seems to be what i do then they give me a script for anxiety then i am embarressed to go back for a follow up
yoga
Answer
Originally posted by GreenEggs:
Whoaaa...I did a search and read some of your posts and the first though I had was "are we twins?". I swear you sound EXACTLY like me to a tee!. Constantly freaking out over your unusual symptoms that seem to come and go all the time and without warning. In fact, you sound so much like me that if I did'nt know any better, I'd think I was reading my OWN posts. You were talking about God and yes, I very much believe in God and was raised in a Christian family. I do think that God uses some of things to get our attention but it sure isn't always fun!...lol. Well, it was nice to meet you and I appreciate your reply. I'm pretty calm now after taking a xanax but how long that will last is anyone's guess so I have to just enjoy the peacefulness while it lasts. Incidentally, I also feel like my mind never rests...as if it was constantly searching for something to be "scared" of...some new disease it can obscess over, etc. You ever feel like that?. Like your mind is too busy sometimes?.
thats pretty funny we act the same; how old are you if i may ask? im 20 and yeah my mind never rests. that is why it wakes me up at 245am in the morning like it just did now. i just had an mri of my back and my back doctor could not identify this circular thing on one of the pictures so im here worrying crazy and trying to find info on what it could be; im thinking tumor. my mind is always constantly trying to search for a disease ranging from a hernia, tumor, ALS, to anything. if i do not get an exact answer from the doctors that explains the symptoms i get then my mind starts searching like that and if i do not find anything, then i consider to diagnose myself to have an uncurable unknown chronic illness. yeah xanax was the only med that would work for me since it's specifically for anxiety and panic attacks though i didn't like the side effects afterwards. i dont think i should say them just so your mind doesn't get any ideas. im so conscious of what im thinking about that im scared i wont get over my anxiety because i always anticipate it again. i've been feeling changes though; it feels like i am at the peak of my anxiety and hopefully i am so. tomorrow im getting a ct scan of my lower back and full bone scan to identify what my back doctor cant right now so this should put my mind at peace. i want to wake up like this anxiety never came to be, but i put myself in this cause of my constant worrying that began somewhat in high school. well like the above person said, try your best to not do too much research on every disease. i try to stay away from most of the forums here or else i will get ideas. just think logically and try and keep your mind busy on other things. like right now i have chest pain and instead of thinking im having a heart attack, i wont let it get to me and keep typing this to stay busy. im sure you will get over your fears; consider it just a stage in life that you are going through.
