Question
Hi everybody.
I've about had it and I need to vent, so bear with me.
I currently work two jobs...one full-time and one part-time. I've been doing this now for seven months. I typically only get one day off every two weeks, and it's really starting to get to me. Unfortunately, my finances are such that I can't quit my part-time job right now. I'm trying very hard to pay off my credit card bill, (as well as car payment and student loans) as I am sick and tired of being in debt. Unfortunately it seems that for every step forward I make, I make a tremendous step back, so I either end up in the same place or, more often, even further back. For example, my rent was lowered, however I also had a mishap with my car and now my insurance rates went up. So what I would have saved on rent (plus a little more) will now go to my stupid insurance company.
There's no one I can really talk to about this who understands. My boyfriend, though wonderful and supportive, cannot comprehend what it's like. He's still in school and has tons of free time, and I feel myself getting more and more resentful of him because he can sleep till noon and whatnot, while I have to drag my butt out of bed to go to work every day. Granted, he'll be graduating soon, and will be getting a "real" job, so soon he'll have some idea of what I'm going through. However, he has no idea what it's like to have so much debt hanging over one's head. It's not like I went on a bunch of spending splurges and crap, but I did have to put my tuition on my credit card on more than one occasion, because my parents couldn't afford to pay my whole way through school, and I didn't understand the student loan thing at the time. I am more than responsible, and have been for all of my adult life. It's just that all of this is really starting to get to me and I'm about at my wits' end.
If anyone has any input, suggestions, words of support, or ideas how I can try to relax, it would be much appreciated, as my tension level has been at an all-time high for months.
Thanks for being patient with my rantings, and I hope everyone out there is having a better day than I am.
Jenn
Answer
Jenn, sorry to hear you are so pressured by work and money...the economy is tough on everyone these days when your health insurance, car insurance, or both can cost as much as another rent or mortgage! Income just doesn't seem to be keeping up with the cost of living anymore.
You don't give us enough info, however. What year car are you driving? Could you own an older model that might reduce your insurance rate? Are you still in school or graduated? Do you live at home, or rent? Are you sharing rent w/boyfriend? What type of work are you doing?
Do you have more than three large debts or loans? If so, it would pay you to consolidate them into one loan...and not on a credit card, because you are paying very high interest rates on a credit card.
Also, have you broken down your finances to see exactly where your money goes? If you are serious about reducing debt, you may have to suffer for a while by cutting out certain things or at least reducing expenditures. Like, would you be willing to buy clothing at a good 'next-to-new' thrift shop rather than at someplace like Old Navy? Would you be willing to take meals to work rather than eating on the run at fast food places? Buy a video rather than go to the movies? Plan your shopping trips rather that running to the store and using up gas for every little thing you need to buy. Things like this make a difference, because when you add up all 'non-essentials' they can come to quite a bit of what goes out of your paycheck.
Your health is important and if you over-extend yourself, you could get rundown and possibly sick which would really put a crimp in your life, so think about taking some steps to reduce the financial pressure you are under. Take care!
Answer
Thanks for the response. I agree that there may be a few (a very few) ways I can still cut spending. But let me answer your questions first and see if you have any more sage advice.
I graduated in 2000, and have been working full-time ever since. I'm not doing anything with my degree, unfortunately, because I couldn't find anything. The job I have now is a temp job that became permanant. Granted, I don't get paid as much as I should, since I have a degree (at least, that's the information we're all indoctronated with when we go to college), and I am currently looking for a job in my field.
I live in an apartment in the cheaper area of town. Moving back in with my parents isn't really a feasible option right now. I only moved out a year ago, anyway, and I don't want to relinquish that independence since it took so long to achieve it. Plus my job is only a few minutes from where I live now, which saves on gas and meals out, since I eat lunch at home every day. I have a 2001 Blazer, and can't really trade it in because of depreciation of value. Believe me, I tried to get a used car, but I wasn't approved for it. Go figure. Besides, I do need the extra cargo space for my small business (assuming I'll ever have time to go back to it. But that's another story).
Unfortunately, my boyfriend doesn't have the money to help pay rent yet, but he does help with groceries whenever he can. Poor thing, he wants so badly to help, but as long as he pitches in with housework, I try not to make an issue of the money part of it. Plus, he doesn't stay with me all the time. Usually 3 days out of the week.
We rarely go to movies. The last movie we saw, besides X-Men 2, was back in January. We don't go clubbing, we don't go out drinking or anything like that. We rarely go out to eat...maybe once a month or so. Granted, I should do shopping weekly instead of every other day or so, but there's an issue with storage space at my apartment, so I can't really keep a lot of groceries around. At least that issue will shortly be remedied when my dad finishes building my pantry cabinet. (One thing to be happy about).
I only go clothes shopping once, maybe twice a year, and even then I don't buy much and I get stuff on sale. Actually the vintage/used clothes option was presented to me recently, and I may look into that. (Clothes just aren't being made for women with hips anymore. Once again, that's another issue).
Oh, you asked how many big debts I have, and it's just three: studen loan, car payment, and credit card. I never use my credit card anymore, I just make monstrous payments. I need to call and try to get them to lower my interest rate. Any advice on doing that would be great, since they are usually not very helpful in that arena. I may look into getting a bank loan, but since I don't have any collateral, I think I'd get laughed out of the bank.
I try to exercise several times a week to stay healthy and de-stress and work out some of my aggression, but I'm so tired all the time that it doesn't always work out. I know I'm just shy of working myself sick, and I need to try to find ways to unwind so I'm not so tense all the time. I've tried meditation, but I usually just fall asleep. So I really need to find some relaxation techniques. Any ideas?
Once again, thank you for all the advice. Sorry to be so long-winded. This has just been piling up for months and I'm about to snap, so I figured I'd better get it out somehow.
Take care,
Jenn
Answer
Dear Jenni
Can't offer much help that you haven't already been offered!
But banks often will give you a loan to rationalise/consolidate debt (as long as you can prove you have been paying the debts regularly) so it might be worth 'having a go!'
I really just wanted to say you should feel very proud of yourself, you are so young and to be dealing so well with the debts you are paying! Also taking care of b/f (who will hopefully reciprocate when he can) I think you are amazing and awesome.
I have 3 kids whom I would guess are around your age and I dread to think what they would do in your position!
Well done!
Jules
Answer
I don't know, Jenn, but I'm getting bad vibes here. If your boyfriend has 'tons of free time' as you say, and can sleep late in the morning, sounds to me as though he could take a night job stocking shelves or something. Where is he staying the rest of the week? If it's at his parents home, does he get free rent there, too? Most students have some kind of job unless their parents are paying for every little thing, which it sounds like to me. Most parents can only pay for tuition which doesn't cover the cost of clothes, books, food, gas (if a car). If he cares about you, why isn't he trying to help financially if he has free time? After all, you're allowing him to live with you three nights a week! Even if he worked 4hrs a day during the week, it would be helpful, wouldn't it? Even if he didn't pay rent, it would be a stress reducer if he could take you out at his expense, or give you a gift of having a day at the beauty shop, or spa, or massage therapy, etc.. I just think it sounds like he could do a little more to help if you are a serious couple when you work two jobs and he doesn't work at all! It just sounds to me, like you are the one doing all the sacrificing and giving...could this be part of your frustration towards him and your situation?
